Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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