I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
