Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
