I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
