I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
