I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
