she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
