Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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