If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
