Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
