you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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