she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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