Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
