oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
