My hair reeks of homosexuality.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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