fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
