How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
