Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
