You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just gargled with NyQuil
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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