i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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