I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
