i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just gargled with NyQuil
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
