is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
