Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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