Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
