and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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