you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
