My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
