if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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