I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
