she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have post one night stand depression
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