Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
