Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize