I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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