oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
