Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Drake has all the answers
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
