Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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