did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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