my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
