dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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