i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Randomize
