it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
