My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
