I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
