She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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