Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize