I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's official drugs can't kill me
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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