I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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