i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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