somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
