dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
