he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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