Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
