Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
