I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
