What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
