I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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