the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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