So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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