Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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