Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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